I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
