We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
