can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
i would one night stand the shit outta him
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
