life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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