is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
