babies were throwing up all over the place
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
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