I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Randomize
