I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
