I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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