Ambien. No doubt about it.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
