Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
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