The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Randomize
