Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
