Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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