You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Randomize
