I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
