is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
