i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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