Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
