Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Randomize
