am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Randomize
