your thong is hanging out like whoa
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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