He asked to "fluff my boner.."
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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