watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
