So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
it's not cheating when I paid for it
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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