so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
