we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
