Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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