how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
