well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
