please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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