left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
