I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
