We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
