also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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