I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
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