Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
