I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just came up with the perfect plan. Once i'm a dentist i'm going to offer dad a million dollars to divorce mom.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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