I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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