dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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