I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Randomize
