am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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