I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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