i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
