we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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