College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
