Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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