Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
My dick has a subreddit
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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