when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
My dick has a subreddit
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Randomize
