How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
