I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
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