airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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