by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
