Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
