...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Randomize
