i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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