I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
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